HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
