So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
