this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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