She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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