hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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