I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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