Have you finally orgasmed yet?
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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