the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
