last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize