He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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