this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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