hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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