i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
