remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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