Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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