How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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