So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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