You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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