Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
