if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
