its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
