Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
