She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Randomize
