So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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