i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
