OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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