wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
