I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize