the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
