I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize