So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize
