Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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