Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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