My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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