Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
