you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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