do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
