just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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