remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
