belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
