She's JV to your varsity
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
