Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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