Can Purell be used as lube?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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