i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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