Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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