Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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