yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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