after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
