Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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