last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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