He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
