i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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