Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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