I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
