he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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