as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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