smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
