just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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