This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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