She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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