I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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