You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
