YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
