i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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