im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
